Scandal, dishonor, and possible deportation

Hi, my name is Colette.  I’m a nice girl.  I hold door open for people. I say “Please and Thank You” If you live in my building I may even say “”How do you do.” I give up my seat on subways to old people. I lend a helping hand if you ask. I pay it forward, I try to.

My mother never thought I was nice, enough. She told me the tone of my voice was, annoying. She would tell me I was too forceful. That people like nice quiet girls. Demure girls who were good at cooking and cleaning. They were smart but not overly so. They could be crafty or handy. They never boasted about, that. They could repair a car and keep manicure. She told me I was pretty hopeless.

I agree with her. I will never not frizz out my hair. I will never not scuff a shoe on cobblestones. I cannot keep a manicure over five days. That is my mother’s standards are not reasonable or sane. So, I was not surprised when I called her and my auntie. And, they had decided I needed medication, to cope with all the crises at once.

They thought I was irrational to get, married. I do not know. If you watch your twenty something daughter like a hawk. Call her boyfriends screaming on the phone to them when she comes home, too late. Try to kick her out when goes for a weekend with one and tells you ahead of time. And, you tell her the only way she is going get out of your house to get married off. Well, I am going to spring your trap.

I did. I landed in Hong Kong. I did not really know was a city known for tough women and weak-willed men. I know now. If my bad childhood gave me anything. I will admit to you, it did bless me with a strong character. I do not bow down easily. I have enough common sense, to point out when something, is wrong.

No one ever listens. I warned my family about the crazy housekeeper. She stayed employed for five years. I warned my family about my grandpa not being right. did not notice. I warned them about my grandma being quite sad and wanting to die. Did not come across. I warned Josh’s family about his drinking problems and odd behavior they said I was overreacting.

He left me. He left me with pictures of  his penis on a gay dating website. He informed me that does not make him gay. That is all a part of fantasy.  He told me since my mother was dying that he would not put in any paperwork and he would make sure I could keep my visa and health insurance. I found out he reported to his company that we had been separated six months. He has only been away ,two.  He is lying.  And, my visa was kind of in jeopardy.

Now, it is all up to immigration. To get attention from straight men, he cries in bars. And, crying about how his beautiful, unfaithful, wife from the ghetto asked him for a divorce. First off, he cheated first with a man. Secondly, I do not tear up in bars and tell people my fat, half  white, husband, is gay. I hardly ever cry in public. Three, I do not have invoke pity in anyone to get laid.

I get to face my family in dishonor. I get to look at my marriage as a failure.  It seems everyday I am accosted by scandal. I do not feel helpless. I do not understand, what is going on. I understand, my marriage is over, it has to. I know, I do not need medication.  I am afraid of being deported. I like it here. I love my cats. I am applying for jobs and  I am qualified to work, here.  So, why is this guy,  making all of this drama? Men accuse women of that.


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